khrystleraineduste

Posts Tagged ‘humour

Ghost Writer

BOO!

You may well wonder with the number of ‘ghost-written’ blogs being presented. You know, ghost-writers? People who will, for a fee, write an article on any subject for another person to take credit for. Ghost writer.

There’s nothing wrong with this, per se, sometimes we go on vacation or are hospitalised and we don’t want our readers to be aware of our ‘disappearance’, so we hire a writer to bring a subject to life and dazzle our readers; the difficulty I have in this, is it’s not being honest.

Our readers think we are brilliant (do so!); they have come to enjoy our take on life not just to read for reading’s sake! (Or, at least I HOPE that’s how you come to read my stuff…) I’m not speaking of guest bloggers, those are awesome and bring a different outlook, (usually); a refreshing view, if you will. No, I’m speaking of those who, with a little manipulation and understanding of algorithms and ‘key-words’ pay writers to come up with original content to wow or impress their readers, only it’s not THEM who is/are doing the impressing.

It’s cheating, and I’m not a fan. I read blogs because I want to hear other opinions and get new ideas, not to get ‘high ranked words’. I like to hear a ‘voice’ come through, and having ghost-writers avoids the personality and just spits out regurgitated mumbo-jumbo.

Oh, most of those blogs are interesting, sort of, but they’re usually flat, because the ghost-writer has no ‘stake’ in the content. The fees paid, typically don’t equate to a high-level of intellectual involvement, just a quick jotting of words; and often times don’t ‘sound’ like what we’ve come to expect. (Although, with a few blogs being totally ghost-written, one may never become aware of this.)

I have recently taken on a few of these assignments, to ghost-write blogs for those without the time or ideas to fill their daily requirement and I must say they are a rude lot!

They demand a certain length for a paltry fee, and let you know that it will be unacceptable if it comes in at this length. They actually want it longer, but aren’t willing to cough up extra pennies to pay for the work.

They also are cagey about requesting the use of ‘key’ words. This is when you are aware you are writing for a client who is a taker. Someone who has figured the system out well enough to earn an income off of people simply clicking ad buttons on their blog that only reflects the top 100 ‘key’ words, although, the content might be great.

Again, it’s not that I’m against people benefitting from a flawed system, (how do I jump onboard?) it’s that I despise someone taking credit for something they haven’t done! Or, maybe I hate the fact that we can be duped so easily. (I say we; even though I am guilty of writing some articles, I still don’t know for WHOM I wrote them…)

So WHY do I (and other good writers) do it?

The money. I need the extra income due to some interesting developments in my personal life. (Nope still married, sorry dudes…lol). Others may want a vacation and sales give them disposable income; others may find expenses mounting and need the income; or an unexpected bill (my case). I’m not knocking the practise; just …why not admit: Written by… For…; would it be so wrong?

So, enjoy well written blogs but don’t despair over not being as ‘perfect’ or as ‘awesome’ as some – chances are it’s a community effort…

Me? I’ll keep writing whatever pays, (yup, willing to prostitute my writing – I like writing too much not to), I’ll just remember what I read may not be what the blogger actually wrote…

Now to look at these reviews and see which products I’m going to pretend I’ve used and write a glowing, or scathing, report for…

preferring the truth,
~khrys…

PS: Yep, I wrote this… think I ought to hire someone else?

PHOTO CREDIT (IRONICALLY)

~*~*~*~*~

  • In: Short Thoughts
  • Comments Off on What do YOU hope to gain from reading my blog?

I’m optimistic it satisfies a simple reading niche in your day and you do not put much pressure/expectation on me to deliver a weighty, pious or staid piece. (Sometimes it happens…)

I never know what the topic will be; I really tried to categorise so readers will be able to discern if this article might interest him or her, unfortunately I find myself consistently writing about the topic du jour; and not necessarily the ‘world’s’ topic. No more often than not it is something that has irked me or caught my attention and I feel like weighing in with my puny opinions.

I thought about an ‘opinion’ blog, but that could get very depressing, very quickly. Or quirky; quirky I could handle; persons not accepting my opinions? Not seeing things from my perspective? Refusing to accept what I write as fact? That would be just unconscionable… *smile*

The Closet is too Small!

The Closet is too Small!

 What I need is that secretary I fired a couple of years ago to resurface. She was pretty good; I mean she did lose that one life-altering file, but well, accidents happen… She keeps trying to remind me that she truly is a decent person and the closet I’ve locked her in is getting cramped, what with all the work I keep feeding her under the door.

Still, she has been more focussed and far less forgetful lately. It is possible SHE will know how to make sense of Win 8.1. There is the possibility I may release her to resurface and talk some sense into 8.1… (The more I think about it the more I wish she was a separate person so she COULD make sense of 8.1…LOL)

So if I can divert your mind for even a few minutes and leave you with a smile; a ‘ponderance’, some useful advice or an opinion, I feel I’ve done my job…

How about you? Do YOU feel you have gotten something worthwhile for wasting 5-minutes of your valuable time reading my babble? I hope so; I do intend to continue…

~khrys…

Tomorrow will be a little different; I have compiled a list of articles I’d like to share all in one spot, just in case you have nothing better to read!

Photo of water pipe burst

Thar’ she blows!

We were number 18 to “call in” the sinkhole starting in the centre of the front street that goes past our home. Or, technically it’s the side street, because we face the cul-du-sac, but that won’t matter to you, so… on with the tale!

Water pipe burst and water was shooting straight up like, (I assume) Old Faithful in Yellowstone.

Cops showed up and blocked the street until the city works could get their trucks back on the road. Happened just long enough after quitting time that nearly everyone had already left and was three-quarters of the way home. I really feel for those guys; having to shuck a hot supper and hot shower for the overtime.

While waiting, of course, a crowd gathered. Nothing like a minor catastrophe to bring the neighbourhood together. The kids thought it was kewl! I mean, it’s not every day a geyser opens up. Cops at both ends of the street had their work cut out for them!

What I need to ask is, “Why do some people assume the barricades don’t apply to them? Are they somehow immune to the effects of tumbling down the widening hole? Or is it they develop wings and transport over top?”

As our home sits on the corner and, conveniently this time the barricades were set up directly in front of us, we were able to watch as car after car tried to negotiate passed the police barricade. I think the cop was getting ready to use his weapon there were so many!

Even after the city works arrived there were still idiots in the crowd. As the worker prepared to lift the lid off the overwhelmed grate to start the flood headed the right direction, the kids naturally pushed forward. Some of the parents were smart enough to realise the danger and pulled their kids back; the worker politely asked the rest to step back so they wouldn’t get sucked down the storm drain when he opened it. All but one complied. That one actually pushed her kid forward and peered over his shoulder. The worker asked her, directly, “Please get your kid back.” 

Swirling waters

Swirling Waters

Well you would have thought he’d told her to leave planet earth!

Her “Harrumph!” and loud, “Fine!” as she dragged her kid away, leaving entirely; had the rest of the crowd shaking its collective head and asking, “Did we just witness that?”

Some people think the rules just don’t apply to them. I wonder how she would have reacted if she hadn’t removed her kid? When the grate was removed it almost took the heavyset worker off his feet and actually sucked one of his tools down in the whirlpool. The remaining kids thought that was kewl, too!

Back to the traffic. Now, just to note, this burst pipe/sinkhole is at probably the perfect spot on this road. There is an easy diversion one minute maximum, that puts you back on the road a block further along. Still, many cars attempted to pass the barriers.

FYI, the entire street was blocked, crosswise, with work trucks; asphalt equipment; police cars! Did I mention the police cars?

Road Closed photo

Road Closed

Still, all night long, (yes, it took until the gray rain-heavy clouds brightened this morning before the work was done and the barriers could be removed…) anyway… cars; SUV’s, trucks; you name it! tried to past the roadblock. When they were successful, they drove literally five turns of their tires at MOST before they had to turn their vehicle around and, red-faced, sneak back around the barricade and follow the detour.

Why do SOME people believe the barricade was put there for everyone but themselves? Have they EVER been handed a ‘get-out-of-logical-thinking-free’ card? (Are there any of those?)

The road is fixed; the geyser is gone; and the new river flowing where the front street was has been quelled. Wonder what I’m going to do for excitement now? 

I suppose I’ll get ready for a weekly game of DnD… I was attacked by an alligator? Crocodile? last week… I survived. I’m watchin’ the swamps a LOT closer now… lol 

Praying the road stays fixed; they’re calling for torrential downpours throughout the weekend and into next week; may you have great weather and sunshiny people in your future! 

*hugs*
~khrys…

‘Thar’ she blows PHOTO CREDIT: CLICK HERE

  • In: Bellyachin' | Just Happy
  • Comments Off on Niggly, snickitey, precise and clear writing; I could get into that…

I got the best compliment I think I ever could have today; and yes, it’s probably gone and made my head swell up!

graphic credit: swelled head <http://www.staceyreid.com/news/?p=3616>

Bring on the world!

We are in the middle of negotiations for an office space (and to finally move things out of an over-stuffed; bursting at the seams home that was never meant to hold the contents of the hardware and lumber stores combined; along with three businesses…eseses…) Dare I hope some projects may actually get completed now?

Anyway, back to the compliment…

I like to think I am nothing, if not thorough; except for the time I sent out approx. 100-resumes with a cover letter ensuring I was/am “Thorough, focussed and contentious…” Funny how no one called back. I was/am mortified I missed that! And embarrassed as heck ’cause I can’t even consider re-applying to these companies on the off-chance someone will remember!

Okay, back to the compliment…

After many attempts to have a document sent in an editable form I finally spoke to the assistant and had the document minutes later. (Do you want to speak to the man in charge; or the woman who knows what’s going on?)

I then (headache and all, because, as you may know, contracts don’t care about YOU in the least) attacked the 9-pages with the fervour of a Cairn Terrier (or, my favourite, Cairn Terror…) pouncing upon a fresh rodent. I was surprised at how long it took and how much I found the original contract watered down and wimpy – to the point of feeling as if I were being tested to see if I was just a “bit of fluff” and not a serious business.

I read every article; sub-article; adjuncts; preface and spelling errors. (Gotta love a legal document that has spelling errors…) Still not convinced its enure instead of inure, but she assured me THAT mistake wasn’t. A mistake.

I disagreed with a fair chunk of the first draft and practically re-wrote the whole thing. (Esp. the part about paying $10 if we decided to walk away from the negotiations. Done laughing yet? I’m still giggling…) I fully expected a reprimand for messing up their perfectly written, common legal form. Now 13-pages; good thing I’m not superstitious, ‘eh? I didn’t really care. That’s why it’s called negotiations. I am not here to make YOU happy; I’m here to get the best deal for me.

Well, when she (the assistant – I think I scared her ‘boss’) called back this morning the first words out of her mouth were,

“Are you a lawyer?”

Yup; compliment received and flying high! Now deciding if a career diversion is in order… Law requires writing… copious amounts of writing. Niggly, snickitey, precise and clear writing; I could get into that…

I’ll deflate my head tomorrow, for today? I’m enjoying the view from above the clouds…
*hugs*
~khrys…

If you only read one thing after this – make it this:

 

Okay, I got a ‘get-out-of-jail-free’ card today. (My husband wrote it for the Doctor; tellin’ him not to worry ’bout my BP.)

My blood pressure was spiking; I have a migraine that is ready to take the top of my head off and I had an appointment with the Doc.

I’m not sure WHY I did it yesterday; I really ought to have known better. When you have a Dr’s appointment, NEVER do anything to raise your blood pressure before going to see him or all he’s going to do is focus on THAT! *sigh*

(Of course, I have the type of blood that, as soon as it knows the Doc is going to put that cuff on me, shoots up and may as well become a flippin’ volcano!)

Anyhooooo…

Today’s blood pressure fiasco actually began yesterday (I started to tell you this…) when I, for some reason unknown to mankind, decided that FINE! If MS isn’t going to stop PESTERING me to upload/download/install 8.1 I might as well as get the deed over with.

(I seriously think the blood pressure cuff and MS are in cahoots; should check into what they donate to…)

So, I BACKED UP my computer. (Yeah, learned my lesson from the LAST update!) Then I backed it (EVERYTHING in my computer) up (again) to a removable drive. Then I disconnected the drive and told it to behave while I messed up the system; I hope it was listening.

Then I closed everything; performed the ‘checks’ as suggested. Found only one issue (or so it SAID.) Searched, the only way to mitigate the issue 8.1 ‘discovered’ was having to purchase a new program; not happening on my finances. The one I have works perfectly well and does not require updating or replacement as far as I am concerned.

Everything happy? Okay, read the agreement and policy.

Why do they bother? A simple,

“We will do whatever the h*ll we want with your information and if you want to continue using your computer just click ‘I agree’ and be prepared to have your life put under a microscope. Or leave; we don’t want you if you’re not willing to hand over your first-born,”

would suffice. Honestly, just reading what I was going to be giving away boggled my imagination! It’s not much WONDER MS is attacked so often. Maybe if they’d just STOP trying to be EVERYTHING?

So, yup, blood squirting from my ears, I pressed update. It tells me I can use the computer while the update is taking place and it won’t affect the download at all… SURE…

I chose to go lie down and relieve the pounding in my brain. Migraines are really no fun.

I peeked after two hours; four hours; six hours… At least my head was resting and I stopped vomiting. (TMI?)

After NINE hours it was shouting at me that, “if I didn’t hit the restart button NOW, it would do it for itself in 6:59; 58, 57, 56…” I clicked restart, then went back and laid down for another two-hours.

YIPPEE!!! It’s ready…

Or notNow it wants to VERIFY me as being the same person who created the e-mail address and has been the ONLY person using the computer for the past year. REALLY? (First-born gone, now they’re aiming for the second?)

  1. Okay, fine.
  2. Enter e-mail.
  3. Request “code”.

OH, SH*T.

Wrong e-mail for recovery. I know that; but it is too late, I’ve clicked okay already! Sh*t!

You know what? It’s nearly eleven pm; I started this sometime around 6:30 this morning; I have a raging migraine and damn it, this can wait until morning! How do I shut the thing down?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO SET IT UP BEFORE I CAN SHUT DOWN?!? Don’t you DARE!

Finally spotted the little, “I’ll do this later,” link and clicked it. Then, instead of just shutting down, as I KNOW I should have, I HAD to test to see what this 8.1 had done to my computer. Changes were/are everywhere. I tested one program; more by accident than design, and thought it was going to start up and everything would be fine. Then it stopped, refusing to continue without the disc; NOT the program I had been warned wouldn’t cooperate when the update was complete… What other surprises await?

After bleeding out (yeah, red computer now…) I couldn’t take the shock. I found shut down; shut down and went to bed, tears hovering. (Yeah, sensitive and EASILY upset… my head hurts, back off… *smile*). I decided there was nothing I could do. If everything was gone; it was gone. I have a backup. I promised myself I wasn’t going to cry over spilt milk. (But I swear I was ready to empty the damn cow!)

Today, my blood pressure has been riding the cusp of explosion and raging. I have managed to restore MOST of my settings and delete the new apps MS decided I MUST want. (Yeah, no thanks; well, maybe that alarm one…)

Nearly fall off my chair when I see the request to save everything to the web. MS’s ‘secure’ – yeah, right, space. I read the notice twice to be sure I was reading it correctly. The default selected to save everything to the web, NOT my computer. (Yeah, YOU are probably aware of this, I was not.) I chose the other option. I don’t require my documents to follow me around. I work on them using ONE computer. I don’t trust web-based storage. Too easily compromised. For now it’s free; what about after they’ve got all your documents and you cannot live without it? Yep, not going to get caught in THAT web.

So, now I have most of my computer back the way I like it. Still unable to do some things and it does p*ss me off. Especially when it tells me I don’t HAVE admin permissions. I AM THE ONLY PERSON USING THIS COMPUTER – WHO ELSE WOULD HAVE THE DAMNED ADMIN. PERMISSIONS?!? (Yeah, I know; I don’t operate in the admin. account all the time, but when updating or installing? I HAVE TO.)

Now, if I understand the world correctly, I have seven days before MS again gets its panties in a bunch and threatens to cut off my left arm. At this point, from all things I can understand and have read, I shall lose the use of my e-mail address for 30-days while they confirm my identity to use the account. Again.

I updated to 8.1, WHY?

THESE are the things I need to know before deciding to update. Not how much ram and whatnot. I’d feel far less stressed (and my doctor would be much happier) if updates would give HONEST, clear directions as to what the update is going to do.

I now have a prescription for happy-pills… they should knock me out, taking care of the migraine – unfortunately not MS! My blood pressure was surprisingly low… the doctor didn’t scold – much… (I’m keepin’ my get-out-of-jail-free card for next time…)

Anyone else have a horror story for MS 8.1I pray not…

*hugs*
~khrys…

One of those moments where you KNOW it’s not really a funny topic, but, really? Did they HAVE to put that sentence in there?

Please understand fully, I do NOT condone DUID… and feel that those caught should pay the consequences. So, read the article for further enlightenment, and/or, enjoy my out-of-context ‘giggle’…

Skilled Drugged Driving Attorney... meet your partner...

Skilled Drugged Driving Attorney… meet your partner…

Sorry, but this line:

“Those facing charges for DUID can benefit greatly by having a skilled drugged driving attorney to represent them.” Excerpted from Drug-Crime Law’s article.

Makes me giggle! Read the entire article referred to here: Drug-Crime Law.

A “skilled drugged driving attorney”… I KNOW what they mean, and actually say, but put in commas and stuff and you can see where I’m going with this… well, unless you are the “skilled, drugged-driving attorney”; you may have difficulty seeing…

Don’t get me wrong, I disagree with driving while under the influence of anything – especially kids! (Sorry…). I also applaud the efforts of those who work hard at their profession. Lawyers have a tough job.

~khrys…

Time change at the end of Daylight Saving Time...

(Credit: Wikipedia)

Yeah, I know, it happened a few days ago. I’m just coming to terms with it now.

I understand the perceived need to have a ‘longer day’ when farming communities needed more daylight to operate and get crops in. Or during war, so more of our waking hours were spent in the sun and less with the moon.

No, WAIT! No, I do NOT understand the theory behind Daylight Savings Time.

Where is this ‘bank’ and how long have I been saving up hours??? I’m ready to spend them now…

That idea makes about as much sense as taking an hour off the end of our day and adding it to the beginning. Did ANYONE change their schedule? No. Our alarms are still set for the same time. Our bosses, (well, yours does; mine’s given up…) still expect us to show up at the same time. Schools will certainly be phoning if your kid isn’t there at the last bell.

And STILL we delude ourselves that we’ve actually SAVED time.

HOW?

All I see is that now, instead of getting light at eight a.m., it gets lighter at seven. So much for my sleep in. And instead of having time after work to go play, it’s dark by four-thirty rather than five-thirty. So much for that romp in the park.

Now, I am okay with this timing (darkness hovering when I would like light) if it would stay put. But nooooooo. Just as it, and I, get all settled down, along comes April and they reverse the program. Now we REALLY are SAVING time.

We get up an hour later! Yippee! Sleep in time! Except, oh. It’s Spring! Who wants to sleep in?! Daylight starts around four-thirty, birds are up by six. Then they dump the time change and WHAT? Birds are up at five? So much for sleeping in. Guess someone forgot to let them know about the time change. Carrier Pigeons, maybe?

Exactly WHO (WHOM?) does this continued reliance on an archaic system benefit? I would rather keep my inner clock working on its pattern without hiccuping it twice a year for something that has NO advantages, and, as far as I can tell, is actually HARMFUL.

How many insurance companies will tell you, “Be extra cautious this week; statistically crashes and injuries rise by 50% or MORE the week following the change.” (And we ain’t talking hot flashes here!) SO WHY DO WE INSIST ON CHANGING TIME?

Does it REALLY matter? Do WE really use this ‘extra time’ for anything OTHER than confusion and fogginess?

I heard this saying about four years ago, and I think it sums it up VERY appropriately:

A Wise, Ancient, (Native) Indian Saying:

ONLY THE WHITE-MAN WOULD CUT A FOOT OFF THE BOTTOM OF A BLANKET, SEW IT TO THE TOP AND THINK THEY HAD A LONGER BLANKET…

Time change, an archaic program for a need which no longer exists. Yet dumping it? Will cost…NOTHING. So we couldn’t possibly afford it. Thank you for your time, have a nice, longer/shorter day/night…

Tongue-in-cheek,
*hugs*
luv khrys…

PS: I apologise for not keeping up with posts and responses. I am so happy to have you reading my ramblings and I hope I do entertain; perplex; motivate or cause discussion at the very least… BUT as I am trying that NANOMO challenge, which should really be called ‘How-Long-Before-You-Figure-Out-The-Novel-You-Have-Decided-To-Work-On-Is-Stuck-In-Quick (slow?)-Sand-and-You-Are-Sinking-Fast’ But I guess that title was either a) taken or b) too long… (HLBYFOTNYHDTWOISIQSAYASF… yep! Definitely TOO long… LOL)
Anyway, I want to say… I am reading and catching up and writing short notes when I find a moment. This challenge is fun and I am determined to complete it. Even if all I have is a rough draft novel, ready for publication, but with caveats! And a coupon for a FREE copy of the REVISED version when it’s ready… Least I can do. (Either that or I’ll donate ALL the proceeds to the NANOMO foundation… that might be less stressful!)


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