Firstly, please forgive me. I mean absolutely NO DISRESPECT TO GOD, NOR DO I PRETEND TO SPEAK FOR HIM. (Unless HE chooses to speak THROUGH me. I DO NOT think this is one of those times; although I will admit to the Holy Spirit’s nudging…) Nor do I claim to be a ‘good’ person. Just a believer.
A little background, (YouTube clips exist, but not the whole show, so you’ll have to bear with my ‘speedy’ synopsis.) It MAY be available elsewhere on the web, but I didn’t trust the other sites…
The Simpsons. Yep, those Simpsons. Still, basically a good family show. Only one I know where they go to church regularly; even if they do poke fun in an irreverent way occasionally, it’s usually not dreadfully obnoxious.
This episode: The Hurricane, begins with well, a hurricane. (Surprised?)
Ned Flanders is inviting Homer to ‘hunker-down’ in their storm shelter. Homer predictably refuses and the Simpsons’ take shelter in their basement. (Which is entered through a set of storm-doors outside their backdoor that appear or disappear depending on their usefulness for a particular episode.) Homer is almost sucked away by the winds as he flaunts the ‘eye’ of the storm, and his family is nearly dragged behind him. They are pulled back inside by the super-human strength of Marge, and Marge kneels to pray; thanking GOD for saving them and promising to recommend HIM to all their friends if HE sees them through the storm.
The storm ends immediately, and Homer mutters, under his breath, to God, “Sucker.”
As they emerge from their basement, they look at their home. Their house has been spared. No damage at all. “It’s a miracle! Thank You Lord. See, it just goes to show that if you live a good life and have faith and believe,” Marge speaks. (Or something similar.)
They look around their neighbourhood. Ned Flanders is just crawling out from under the pile of rubble that used to be his house, surveying the loss. The only building destroyed in the storm.
“Well, I guess we can be happy we’re alive,” he mumbles.
He goes to the Pastor at the shelter, and asks, “Is GOD punishing me?” (I love the Reverend’s response; “Yes, with a big asterisk; No, with a big but…”) Ned continues to recite pious rhetoric.
His friends come together because of the wonderful man Ned is, and rebuild his house. Unfortunately, they do a LOUSY job and the house collapses like a stack of cards in a hurricane.
Ned loses his cool. He blows his stack. He rants at everyone who tried to help him, and when Marge speaks up, he turns on her: “I can’t live on good-diddley-ood intensions now can I?”; which (I thought so sweet) makes Bart stand up for her, “Hey man!” and earns him the snapped-attentions of Ned. Ned continues to vent cruelly on various townspeople as he climbs in his car and drives to the insane asylum, checking himself in. The rest of the show deviates from MY theme, so you’ll have to watch this 2008-re-run yourself.
WHERE THE SHOW LEFT OFF AND I PICKED UP:
God, looking over a cloud. “Ned? Are you listening?”
Ned, glancing up, quickly covering his eyes at the brilliant glow, falling to his knees, “Y…y…y…yes Lord?”
“Who do you think you are?”
“Pardon me, Lord?”
“You ‘guess’ you should be grateful? You GUESS?”
“Well, Lord, I…err…” Ned grovels. “You’re right. I’m sorry Lord. I should have thanked you for my blessings and not wallowed in my pity.”
Ned sighs, shoulders slumping, “And I shouldn’t try to decide who gets punished, when or how. But dag-gummit! Why me? I’ve always been good. I go to church every darn-diddley Sunday. I pay my taxes. I give to the poor. Why me, Lord?”
“Why you? Does the pot say to the potter, ‘Why did you make me this way?'”
“Wellll, now, no.”
“But Lord, I mean… look at Homer. Why not him?”
“Yes. I mean he cheats on everything; he drinks and that boy of his, don’t get me started.”
“Okay? Okay what?”
“I won’t get you started.”
Ned looks at God, his eyes narrowing.
“Now Ned, what you have to remember is it isn’t what you do. You can’t buy your way into heaven. Even the Pope, Mark Zuckerberg or Apple haven’t got that much money. You can’t earn your way into heaven; all the good deeds and honest living in the world won’t get you passed the gates.”
“Don’t interrupt,” God takes a deep breath, “Now Ned, you profess you believe in the Bible.”
“I do Lord! I read it every day! It’s the only dang-diddley-gum book in our home library!”
God, nodding, “Yes, that’s a noble gesture. Do you remember what it says in John 3:16?“
“John 3:16, Lord? ‘For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.’
“Yes, Ned. That one.”
Ned nodding, suddenly, “Oh, I see. I forgot my faith in YOU. Somehow, no matter how bad it looked to me, YOU were always going to fix it, weren’t you?”
“Remember what you’ve learned Ned. Oh, and warn Homer”; an explosion is heard, followed by Homer strangling Bart.
I’d like to point out Ned Flanders ONE BIG mistake: He thought that by good deeds he will enter heaven. Too many are sucked into that garbage.
Good deeds come because you want to do them and they show OTHERS your obedience/love to God. ALL GOD asks for is for you to BELIEVE in HIS SON, JESUS CHRIST. EVEN a murderer can enter heaven if they declare that Christ is the ONLY living Son of God, and ask HIM to forgive their sins and wash them clean. It’s said that Ted Bundy asked for forgiveness in his final hours. A lot of people scoff and say, “Well, any God that would forgive him is a God I don’t want to worship!”
Really? We’re human, we assume levels of sin. God tells us they are all one and the same. A lie is a murder. Even a white lie. We can’t grasp it, but it’s true.
Remember, God DIDN’T come to save the righteous; HE came to save the sinners. Humble thyself and follow God’s rules; not man’s ideals. Unless, of course, you think you are above sin. Good luck with that, eh?
Ask yourself (Unless you’re afraid of the answer): Do you believe in God? Do you believe in HIS SON JESUS CHRIST? That HE was born, died AND rose again? Do you REALLY have that faith in Christ? Then you, my friend, WILL be going to heaven. I HAVE FULL FAITH!
Do you blaspheme the Holy Spirit, God and Jesus? Welcome to hell; for eternity. Think of the worst pain you can imagine; the worst humiliation possible; the ugliest, most degrading situation possible. Now multiply it a trillion times.
Imagine NEVER, EVER getting any relief. No water to quench your thirst; no salves to soothe the burns; the constant flame. Imagine Ted Bundy DIDN’T get into heaven and he, and Clifford Olson are chained to you. Robot hell, it ain’t. That is what awaits if you don’t believe. Even if you don’t believe in hell either. Funny how that works, eh?
It’s YOUR choice. It’s always been YOUR choice and it always WILL be your choice.
For Ned, well, since it’s my understanding cartoon’s don’t have souls, I think he will, unfortunately burn in the Lake of Fire…
Weird blog? Sorry, I wrote most of it without glasses, using a pen and paper, late at night; annoyed as my husband snored happily, whilst I sat awake watching TV; and then deciphered my hand-writing between a thousand other chores to bring you this late-night blessing. I have the meaning right; hopefully I also have the persuasive draw.
PS: See you in heaven… just not too soon, ‘k?
PPS: I never professed to be a Biblical Scholar, and I’m certainly NOT a ‘wise/all-knowing/seeing’ person. But every once-in-a-while… To those it happens, you understand; to those who deny it, you will, hopefully, one day, before it’s too late, get it. Confused. That’s okay. Don’t strain your brain. Answers cannot be forced.
- why me?? (thelordswitness.com)
- Thursdays in the Text: Ask God (christianpurposeblog.wordpress.com)
- May you be filled with the Holy Spirit My friends………. (deweymoede.wordpress.com)
- Are You Ready? (raymondjclements.wordpress.com)
- My heart (imhisdisciple.wordpress.com)
- Seeking God (themicahblog.wordpress.com)
- What’s in a Name? (christsreflections.wordpress.com)
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